Not So Charming

Horseback riding is something I often associate with Prince Charming. I dream of riding off into the sunset with my true love--probably due to my influence of Disney growing up. And so a few weeks ago when I heard that we were going horseback riding, I imagined that it would be perfect. Everything would go smoothly. It'd be beautiful. And Maybe I'd find my Chilean Prince Charming. However, things did not go smoothly and Prince Charming was never found.

Our adventure began a little before noon. We were in a small town called Con Con just about an hour outside of Valparaiso. We were on our horses ready to adventure once went through 'orientation' and got all geared up (chaps and all). But this is where the complications start. My horse wouldn't move--no matter how hard I kicked it. And so, I had to switch horses. This one was doing pretty well until we had to cross the river/lake. As we were beginning to cross, I managed to halfway fall into the water. The entire left side of my body was wet. I don't know how it happened, but it is yet another confirmation of my lack of grace. Once I regained my balance and repositioned myself on my horse, it chose not to cross. So we sat in the water for about fifteen minutes. My feet were upward, about level with the horse's head, as to prevent my feet from being in the water. But while sitting like this, Sean's horse managed to poop on my foot. At that point, I decided it was better to have wet shoes than it was to have a pile of horse s*** on my shoes, and so I just completely submerged my feet into the water. I was wet knee down.

My horse still wouldn't cross. So I had to get off my horse, and switch to another horse. We crossed with no problem whatsoever. And with my luck, it was the lead horse--he liked to run. A lot. And be in the lead. Something that can be kind of scary for an amateur horse rider--or really scary. However, it was an adventure. I figured that death by horse in Chile is an okay way to go. We were trotting through the forest and my horse would sporadically decide to run, catching me off guard, and then causing the other horses behind me to run. One of the horses decided to follow my horse's lead, Hope's horse, got a little out of control. Hope hit a tree branch. Scratched her face. And was bleeding. A lot. She looked like she got out of a horror movie by the time she was cleaned up. Then our guide got kicked by a horse. And then my horse started getting mad at me because I was trying to get him to stop moving while everyone else was stationary while cleaning up Hope's battle wounds.

By the time that was finished, I decided it was probably a good idea to switch horses (we had three to spare because Hope, Macarena (our director), and the guide went back to get Hope further medical attention). At this point, I figured that things could only get better from there. And they did. We were running through the sand dunes, which were incredible. I felt like I was in a Western film and should have been chewing straw and using cowboy lingo. Once we got past the sand dunes, we were at the ocean. That's when I decided to be really brave and let my horse run at a speed faster than trotting: galloping. It was incredible. A magnificent creature. Wind blowing through our hair. The sound of the sea. And the sound of its gallops. The only thing missing was Prince Charming and a sunset.

In order to get back to the ranch, we had to cross the same river/lake as earlier. Everything went smoothly. But then Jill's horse decided to poop in the middle of the river. Meaning, those who were behind her, had to cross through it. And because my new horse was a midget horse, I was pretty much submerged from the waste down with poop going all over me...

When we got back to the ranch, lunch was served and there was a campfire and it was just a perfect way to end such a wonderful day! The people who work the ranch kept apologizing for everything that went wrong and my thoughts the entire time were: everything that went wrong made this trip so much better. It made life more exciting and created really great stories. It was a beautiful day and my four horses were my Prince Charming!

the river/lake we had to cross.

the sand dunes.

me and my final horse.

group picture! 

all of our shoes were around the fire to dry. by the time we left, my boots were still wet. 

the ranch!